i was never a fan, but the death of Rico Yan -- a popular matinee idol here in the Philippines -- came as a surprise. oh yes, he was cute and all that -- i'm a sucker for bedimpled people. but what is most tragic of all is the fact that he is so young, so full of promise, and his life was cut short with the blink of an eye.



it's so ironic that only a few days ago, i was watching him on tv (on a mini-series featuring a poor imitation of survivor, mind you) and now, he's gone. it was a good wake-up call; i speak for myself when i say that the unpredictability of death is often taken for granted.



most of the time, we equate youth with incorruptibility... who would have thought that a buff 27-year-old would die in his sleep on Good Friday? as opposed to a white-haired 60-year-old, he would seem to have more days to live. but then again, death chooses no time and place. when your mission on Earth is over, it's over.



this event magnified something that has always been one of my fears: to die unaccomplished. there are so many things i want to do -- graduate, have a family, write a book, appear on national tv, start a business -- and dying is not yet among my plans. but who knows? as what was proven by Rico Yan's death, my Creator can take me anytime he wants to... even if i haven't accomplished the goals i have set for myself.



but in the end we realize that we just need to trust in Him. He has a plan for everything, that i believe, and when my human mind can no longer justify the things that surround me, i can always say that in time, God will make me understand. if and when i shall die, He will give me a good reason when i (hopefully) meet Him in His Kingdom.



i guess no one will ever be ready to die... not you, not me, not anyone. that's why it is important to make investments... i will be a hypocrite if i say that i practice what i preach; on the contrary, i am not a very devout Christian. but then again my life for my Father to judge... i can only pray that i am worthy of His grace.



i am saying a silent prayer to all the souls who died during their youth. i am not sure who is more lucky -- me, alive in this imperfect world, or them, in the other life holding the hand of our Father...



rest in peace, Rico Yan.

rico yan, dead???



i cannot believe it.

never met anyone so perfect

never knew anyone could make me so happy.

but happiness is such an abstract thought,

as abstract as faith, love and emotion.

as abstract as you are to me.

and yet...

you have blown me away.



hmmm... i'm sensing an inspiration for a new layout.

two final exams, three research papers, two presentations, two speeches and a couple of hellish weeks later, i am alive. i am alive!!! whew! who would've thought i'd make it? :)



anyway, here it is... the sweet, sweet triumph of making it to summer vacation. no more all-nighters, no more cramming, no more bus rides to school -- at least for a couple of months. it's guilt-free tv and gimik time! :)



anyway, last night i went to the graduation of my former high school... and i just felt, well, old. i don't know. maybe because i saw all those students, high school students, and it made me think that i could never bring back those days. once it's done, it's done. next year i'll be in third year. two years to go and i'll be a college graduate as well. what does the future hold for me?



many times now, i have wished i could just stay in high school. the carefree, innocent days of high school... no kidding. it just felt so... problem-less during those days. with the freedom that college has granted me, came a huge responsibility of being accountable for all your actions. it is a huge responsibility that sometimes you just want to run away from all of it, and give them the line "after-all-i'm-just-a-kid." but you can't, because although you still feel like a kid, you are already an adult in other people's eyes.



hmmm... enough said.



on a lighter note, i'd like to congratulate my newly-graduated friends, if you are reading this, let me sing for you... :)



Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

So make the best of this test, and don't ask why

It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time...



i hope you all have the time of your lives in college. :)

"i smiled to many people for more than a billion times... but when i first saw you, my heart took over and smiled for the first time."



awww. :)

i'm so sleepy...

school has been... well, its usual bitchy self. i've been stressed out for the past couple of weeks, but gladly, just a few more days and it shall have come to pass. but really... i don't even remember sleeping nicely because my responsibilities and school work have been bugging me even in my dreams. that's how bad it is.



hmm... besides, not a lot of things have been blog-worthy...



thanks to everyone who signed my gbook... denise (whose gbook entry really cracked me up -- bene days!), ate jannie (nanggigil ng sobra), psyche (it's Catherine with a C -- hehe), aa (the grad!!!), carlo (free at last! heheh), jonathon (who put a rather long and poetic entry) and of course mitch who is now officially famous because of her first hate entry. :) heheheh...

v8.grayscale now out! :D yay! tell me what you think. :)



in the meantime, i'm going to study for my p.e. finals tomorrow... talk about enjoyable. eeew.

new layout coming out. sorry for the inconvenience. :) kainis, di ko matapos coz of schoolwork e... :(

i looooooooove ALICIA KEYS!!!