pardon my profanity, but i have to do this.



NAAAAAMMMMMPPPOOOOOCCCCHHHHHHAAAAAAA.



whew. had to get that out of my system. kinakabahan ako sa grades ko this sem! i want to see my classcards!!!



damn it. it's a long wait till monday.



f*ck. sana naman maayos...

I did a COMPLETE OVERHAUL of my room Friday afternoon. It took me over 12 hours! And I didn't even open my cabinet! Whew. Believe me, I almost drowned in my own mess. There were lots of odd junk, piles and piles of photocopied handouts, graded test papers, books and magazines everywhere! If we held those high school "newspaper drives" now, I would win with my hands down.Ü

Last Monday we had our sem-ender party. Although only half of the class were in attendance, I still enjoyed myself. We played billiards and charades, and a mean game of boys-vs-girls basketball! Who would've expected the girls to win? In the words of my friend NJ, "Dangal ang itinaya!" Couldn't have said it better myself.Ü



Anyway, I woke up with a really sore throat today. :( My tonsils are bothering me a lot. I might ask my mom if I can have it removed.



With my birthday coming up in barely over a week, I have decided not to have a party. I think I'd rather keep the money. ;) Even if I'm supposed to be celebrating my LAST TEENAGE YEAR.... UST and St. Paul Manila will resume classes on the 4th, both La Salle and Mapua still have classes by then. Most of my HS friends go to these schools, and if ever I do have a party, only those from UP and Ateneo can surely make it. Most of my blockmates are from the north, and I live down south. With all those bomb threats... Well, you get the picture.



So there.Ü I just had to justify not having a party to myself. Haha. Ü



Did anyone watch Survivor? Although I've always thought of Robb as an @$$, that was a pretty touching speech he gave there. Well, yeah, it was a bit touchy-feely but appreciated nonetheless.Ü And during Tribal Council, Jeff Probst really summed it up by saying, "The tribe has experienced spiritual growth, but it seems like the person who inspired that growth was the same person you voted out. Some game, huh?" Cocky cocky Jeff! Haha.Ü But... well said.



some shoutouts:

Thanks to all my guestbook signers! I feel loved. Hehe.Ü And AJ, read my entry. I'm not gonna have a party, so you're not invited.Ü

should have been posted a couple of days ago:

Tom Welling is SOOOOO CUTE.Ü I just finished watching Smallville. I remember making a mental note to watch the first episode of the series but unfortunately, I not only missed the first one, but also the one after that! Now I can't believe I passed up the chance to adore Clark-Kent-slash-Tom-Welling for that long!!!



Whew. Talk about a BAD CRUSH.Ü

have you ever felt like you knew someone, almost inside out, and then something happens that shatters that notion? i mean really shattering it to a bazillion pieces. that's how i feel right now.



maybe it's true what they say that college is the real world (although John Mayer begs to disagree). or maybe, because we get older in college, things tend to get more real. more hurtful. more blinding. more crucuial. indeed, more real.



last night i dreamt about high school. saw my old friends. wrote on the blackboard. laughed with my classmates. thought about how to make my crush notice me. i woke up feeling sad, missing my good ol' friends, and wishing me back to the days when life was so darn simple. i wanted to be young again -- not for selfish reasons but also because i want everyone around me to be young again. i want to just laugh like there's no tomorrow. i want to talk about growing old and going off to college. i want to talk about staying friends and vow to be forever true to all our promises. i want today to be just a distant memory, yet to be lived, yet to be experienced.



this day is one of the saddest, hardest days of my life. at this age, things were brought to my attention -- things that i always anticipated and planned for, but you know, when it's staring you right in the face, you'll still be taken aback. and dumbfounded. and you will still question anything and everything, even if you told yourself many times before that it can be a reality. and this is exactly what i'm doing right now. trying to find answers to all my questions. and the most painful part is knowing that you're too late and too powerless to change anything.



i wish for the days that life was simple. i wish for the days we never thought much about surviving the blows of life. i wish for the days when my friends were kids, untainted, pure. i wish to bring back all the times we wasted complaining about wanting to grow up... and just enjoying our happy, carefree days.



i wish today was just a distant memory, yet to be lived, yet to be experienced.





+ I pray to God, your soul to keep. +

got a haircut today. my hair used to be short. now it's, errr, shorter, i guess. :) i slept really late kanina, i mean i think it's so late it's early already! (huh?) i slept at 5am because i was reading a book... okay, so i'm a dork. haha.



anyway... we're going to have our sem-ender block party this monday... yippee!! the end of this semester sure needs to be celebrated! we had six subjects last sem, and all of them were pretty demanding. talk about taking up every bit of our free time. and to add to that, i was a member of my org's executive board (that's a first for me), and i had to handle the recruitment process coz i am VP for members. i've never been that toxic! almost every other week was hell week. i'm only thankful it's over. some of my friends say that it will be doubly harder next sem though. but i'm not gonna think about that. let me enjoy the few sweet days before novemeber 14 comes around again and drags me off to school.

thanks so much my gracious hostess for taking care of my webspace -- and more! she helped me with these tables you know. ;) and partner, thanks a lot for dropping by. hope you upload your luna layout soon. :)



just finished watching Survivor: Thailand. SPOILER ALERT!!! Stephanie of Sook Jai was voted out. END OF SPOILER. you know, some of the tribe members were also trying to get rid of Shii Ann, the Taiwanese-New Yorker. apparently they're not used to her, uh, weird ways. i can understand, because being Asian, i share some of her habits and customs. i go as far as saying that some of the contestants in Survivor still see cultural minorities differently, even if Shii Ann herself shows more qualities of an American than that of a Taiwanese.

hey can anybody help me with this?

<----- how do i stop them from resizing when i use rowspan for this cell?



a kind soul help me please..... :)

but i gotta go to sleep now. zZzZzZ...

"if you are to say you love me, let it be at a time when no tears are falling from your eyes..."



i just want everything to be ok again. =(

the only good thing is... i'm turning 19 within the sembreak.







on second thought, is that a good thing?

finally, got this thing to work... haaay. it still doesn't look very nice, but it's good enough for me. i just want my words published again!!!



sembreak. such a nice word. but don't you just feel the pressure of sembreak? i mean the pressure of accomplishing something after sembreak. you know, like, i'm gonna lose 10 pounds after the sembreak. i'm gonna learn how to type with my fingers on the right keys after the sembreak. i'm gonna know where to have my practicum after the sembreak. i'm gonna have this and that accomplished after the sembreak. get my point?



i dunno... here i am, just trying to make sense out of something, anything. walalang.

hello world. is this me, or am i an apparition? haha. :)