I can't remember when I first visited this site, but I know that it was because of Lucille.
Postsecret is one of those things that make an impact inversely proportional to its simplicity. The idea is so simple: write down a secret, send it in, Frank Warren (the founder) scans it then posts it on the site. Viewing the one-liners provides catharsis, either through a sense of vicariously revealing similar secrets or giving in to a twisted kind of voyeurism as you get to know about a hidden, usually juicy detail about a stranger's life.
Actually, Postsecret isn't the theme of this entry. There was one specific "secret" uploaded this week that got me thinking. If you are not able to view the secret, here's the text:
"A few years ago my husband celebrated his 25th year of teaching. After touching the lives of hundreds of students, not ONE rsvp'd to his surprise party. We had to cancel. He never knew it. He loves his job. I hate it."
That entry got me thinking about all the teachers I have had since my earliest memories of schooling. I had never been a bad student, but there was a time when I was just an average student. You know, just there and not quite noticed. Floating along, feeling invisible, and for the most part, being invisible. I feel like some teachers are wired to just notice the good students. And some, only notice the best. I believe there's a difference.
But the redeeming aspect of all this is, I have had teachers who I feel actually believed in me. Who appreciated me. Who perhaps saw potential, or drive, or discipline, or whatever -- they semed to see something in me and that alone drove me to prove to them that there is indeed something there. I feel indebted to them because they may not have realized it then, and in fact they may never know, but they encouraged me and challenged me to be the best student that I can be.
There's that teacher who pushed me to join MTAP1 when I was in fourth grade in Seton2 (refer to glossary below! haha). He caught me passing notes in class, too -- but he didn't take it against me and still went on and nominated me to be part of the team to represent the school. It was my first taste of inter-school competition, and my God was it scary, but I always refer to that year as the year when I "discovered" that I can be excellent if I put my mind and heart into something.
Fast forward to 6 years later, in 4th year high school (now representing St. Paul3) me and my teammates reached the regionals, the farthest that St. Paul has ever gone in the MTAP Competition, and I know somehow I still owe some of my triumph to my 4th grade Math teacher.
Then there was my 1st year HS English teacher. I was a transferee then and felt terribly shy and self-conscious. That was my "writer" phase when I first realized it is something that I enjoy and could potentially be something I'd do for the rest of my life. Freshmen were not allowed to join the school paper yet (what kind of rule was that?!) but anyway, having no options, I joined the English Literary club. I can still remember the assigned classroom where we would meet (2nd floor, next to the CR!).
And surprise surprise, I was the only freshman in the club, which automatically made me level representative (uh, duh, I represent myself). But despite my doubts about my talent (or the lack of it), she encouraged me, and she is one of those people who openly expressed her belief in me, and one whom I felt always treated me like an equal and not a lowly, naive student (which I probably was back then, hehe). She eventually became my ninang during my confirmation. And I went on and joined the school paper from 2nd to 4th year HS, becoming literary editor during my senior year and co-editing the Batch 2000 literary magazine4 -- which is, and always will be, one of my proudest accomplishments despite how ridiculously immature that litmag now looks in hindsight.
Speaking of the school paper, there's also the Paulinian Link5 adviser who, despite her old age (no offense meant!) never forgets my home phone number. Every year, she still calls me to ask if I can conduct the Paulinian Link workshop that they hold every start of the school year for potential Linkers5. It still makes me feel mighty special, and if only I were in town, I'd still gladly do it for her.
Then there's my 4th year class adviser. I know that she fought for me a number of times to ensure that I would retain honor student status at the end of each quarter, and consequently be eligible for academic honors during graduation. It boggles me to this day why she did that, because we were never close, but I guess that's just how you find out who really are rooting for you even if you do not expect or ask them to.
I also remember my 4th year English teacher - me and my friend Lew Anne would always talk about how she was such a role model for us - elegant, eloquent, and just so effortlessly... commanding. You'd shut up when she walks into the room (at least we would, and for Lew Anne and me, that's a feat! hehe). And considering how we (secretly) thought of the other teachers, to be sincerely respectful is, well, something.
But aside from that, the thing that I remember most about her was how she appreciated me. I had trained the senior batch (I think it was batch 2002) for the BAPPSA choral recitation competition. On the morning of the competition, she pulled me aside and handed me an envelope. Inside was a card, expressing her gratitude for my time and effort in coaching, and, well, a sum of money. I distinctly remember feeling happy not because of the money but because it meant that I was actually worth being paid. And the fact that she gave that before the competition meant that whether we win or not, I was still appreciated.
Lastly, there's my thesis adviser. She's probably one of the hardest people to please in the whole of DAC6. In no way was she going to have a teacher's pet; she was too upright (and perhaps busy???) to play favorites. She treated everyone equally, and challenged everyone to always be at their best, and to submit their best work every single time. Not doing so was a sign of disrespect - I agree. She held her students with high regard and expectations, and that challenges you to meet them. She also seemed to believd in my thesis more than I ever did. And for all these things, I have nothing but respect for her.
Maybe some people will say that they're just doing their jobs as teachers, or that it was by chance that I felt encouraged or challenged by their actions. Whatever the reasons may be, the fact remains that they have touched my life and left an indelible mark, and I owe a certain part of myself to them. Looking at how I turned out to be, I'm quite happy where I am -- and if only for that, I think some thanks are in order.
They may never get to read this, but this post is for Sir Miguel, Ms. dela Fuente, Mrs. Soliman, Mrs. Haresco, Mrs. Guevar, and Ma'am Adeva -- I will most definitely RSVP to all your "surprise parties", in the hopes of someday being able to personally say the "thank you" which you all deserve!
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Glossary!
1. MTAP - literally Mathematics Teachers Association of the Philippines, honing the mathematical skills of promising students through its Math Competition. Used to be a big deal back then, not sure now...
2. Seton - Elizabeth Seton School in Las Pinas, where I graduated grade school
3. St. Paul - St. Paul College of Paranaque (SPCP), where I graduated high school
4. Batch 2000 Literary Magazine (litmag) a.k.a. Humanae Vitae - a compilation of literary works from SPCP students published during my senior year
5. Paulinian Link - the school paper of SPCP, and a "Linker" would be a writer for the paper
6. DAC - Department of Arts and Communication, College of Arts and Sciences, University of the Philippines - Manila, where I got my Organizational Communication degree
