It Felt Like Coming Home

      I went back to my high school yesterday -- St. Paul Paranaque -- and it felt like coming home. Weird, but it did.



      I know some people who, after high school graduation, vowed never to set foot in their alma mater again. To a certain extent, I understand... specially those also coming from my school, because I know too well the things we were put through -- long litanies from the sisters, so little recreational time and a truckload of academics. But as I always say, that's what high school is for! And I have long forgiven them because if anything, they are among the people who molded me into who I am now.



      But yesterday, just standing on the ground where I spent four years of my adolescent life, it just felt... right. It felt like a haven, a secure place where I was free from all my college troubles. Thoughts of my thesis (gulp) and practicum folder (gulp again) were so far away; I was just having fun with my friends. It was like a sea of memories washing over me... the faces have changed but the feeling is still the same; even intrams felt the same. *sigh* I still wish for the carefree life of high school... the carefree days of my youth, for that matter.



      And so we arrive at the "turning twenty" blues once more. Heheheh. But really, I just wanted to state that for the record. Even if St. Paul (or rather, the new security guards at the second gate) has a knack for pissing alumni off (ayaw ba naman magpapasok minsan!!!), I still feel compelled to go back to my high school alma mater once in a while... if only for the wonderful feeling of "coming home..." :)



      A critique of the cheering competition to follow... for now I'm off to school! Enrolment is at 1:30 pm and I'm still at home! Bad Teng... heheheh.

Addicted to CSI

      I'm on a CSI Marathon! Bought the entire first season in DVD's (pirated, of course) yesterday. Can't get enough of Grissom and company. It kind of makes you wish the Philippines had that kind of crime scene invetigation technology. *tsk, tsk, wishful thinking*

      One week to go before my birthday!!! :D In other words, only one more week left of my teenage life. Haha. Many people say, "Teng, matanda ka na... Bente ka na!" and all I want to reply is, "I know! Believe me, I know!" -- but really, not in a sarcastic way.



      Actually, even I am surprised at how I am reacting to my turning twenty. Of course it sounds like a big deal -- I have already lived, in fact, for ONE WHOLE SCORE! But I guess the only difference is, I don't feel my age, as opposed to "not acting" my age.



      Of course, being at this age, people expect me to be mature, forward-thinking and smart. I think I can be all that. But I don't think it has anything to do with me still wanting to watch cartoons, or wear shorts to the grocery, or play around with my little sister. Thos are the things that keep me sane! If I start to go around thinking of nothing but future bank accounts, buying life plans, or paying off debts I haven;t even made, then I would not have lived at all. For heaven's sake, I'm only TWENTY!



      So to all my friends (i.e. batchmetes) who get to read this, it's not so bad, you know, the turning twenty thing. We can take it all in stride. And perhaps ten or another twenty years after today, I would still want to watch cartoons and wear shorts to the grocery and play around with my little sister... I know it will help me keep my youth, no matter what the numbers I put down on the "age blank" say. :D

      Okay, so you see the time stamp below this entry? I wrote that in January of this year, almost ten whole months ago! I'm so happy to finally get this to work (again). I really felt the need to revive my blog; I needed to vent out my thoughts or else I feel like my brain will explode (who knows? It just might happen.)



      So first things first. How are you? What have you been up to? And how the hell did you land on my blog? Hmmm... whatever your answers are to my questions, let me welcome you... WELCOME! Heheh.



      It's been roughly a couple of weeks since my sembreak started... This will be my last semestral break. *Whew* Now there it is -- I just felt some kind of feeling I can't quite identify.



      My friend aA asked me how I felt about graduating. I wanted to answer her question accuratly because it has also been bugging me for quite a time now -- and all I could cough up was a weak "I really don't know." But I told her I was feeling like high school all over again, which I was...



      It's all so, erm, beyond words. I really feel happy and MIGHTY PROUD that I'm finally graduating... but I'm afraid Im having some kind of separation anxiety. Y'know, after 16 years, you're finally out of school... and it's oddly unsettling!



      I remember what Ley's parents said the other day -- that if there's anyone happier than us when we graduate, it will be them -- the parents. Hmmm...



      Graduation, I guess, is the world's way of telling me that I am being given a chance to prove to my parents (and the Filipino nation, as a UP student) that my education was well worth their investment. And how I should feel about this? I still have 5 months to go. Let's wait and see.