Holiday Greetings

Merry Christmas to everyone from me and my family. :) Cheers to the year that was, and wish you all the best in 2005!

Damn Frustrations

There are just some thoughts that are not meant to be in black and white.



As deadlines for home assignments once again loom overhead, I find myself getting dissatisfied yet again with my current employment. I hate hate hate it that money or opportunities or travel cannot motivate me enough to learn, let alone be contented with being a MISE trainee.



There is this Investment assignment due on Wednesday, the 15th. Deadlines for Maritime Law and Economics will soon follow. Heck. I studied communications in college. The highest math I took up was Math 11. I never really cared about ships or terminals or containers or other related sh*t before I got myself into the company.



I am in the dumps again. And fact is, I really want to go to the next module. I want to travel to Denmark again. I want to meet all these people from all over the world and share stories with them. I love my salary and my benefits.



If there were just some way to get it all. Benefits and doing what I love, what i'm meant to do.



They say, you really can't have it all. Yeah, and I'm living proof.



But... at the end of the day, it's a matter of choice. If you can't have it all, I've got to choose. And that's the difficult question.



Damn these thoughts. Wasting my time writing about my frustrations. I should be working on that Investment assignment now. !@#$%^&*().

Addicted

My last song syndrome isn't composed of just a song... More like a playlist, it is. Haha. I miss party nights in CPH.

Some songs that are on "REPEAT" in my mind:

1> Over and Over - Nelly feat. Tim Mc Graw

2> Culo - Pitbull

3> Hush - LL Cool J

4> Drop It Like It's Hot - Snoop Dogg

5> My Goodies - Ciara

6> Move Your Body - Nina Sky

7> Baby It's You - Jojo feat. Bowwow

Seems I am so so so addicted to songs sung by African-Americans (attempting to be politically correct) right now. Addicted meaning I enjoy it so much. Perhaps, also because of my brother's influence? Who, incidentally, will be having his 24th bday party today.



Did you just follow that train of thought? Haha. Not feeling normal today.

Calling on my "Lolas"

Dear Ai, Ley, Lucy and Tina:

I so so so miss you. Please, let me know when we can get together.

Love,

Teng

Taken around 8 months ago during our university graduation at the PICC.


L-R: Ai, Ley, Lucy, Teng, Tina.


Hey, come to think of it, we ARE in alphabetical order! Galing! :)

Creativity, Anyone?

I type chwistine.blogspot.com on the address field above and this page comes up.



I get depressed when I see this page.



I've come so low as to use a template for my blog.



Gone were the days when I'd spend my late nights in front of the computer, editing and re-editing the graphics and photos that were to go into my latest layout.



Gone were the days when I would painfully hand-encode each page, html flag by html flag, ensuring that the finished product would come out exactly the way I pictured it inside my head.



Gone were the days when I would even offer to make webpages for my friends, or to teach them how to build an html file from scratch.



Gone were those days.



Thay have been replaced by 12-hour work days, with weekends that always seemed too short to even catch my breath.



They have been replaced by a total of 3-4 hours spent on the road, weaving in and out of traffic. It takes me that long to get to and from work -- on a lucky day.



They have been replaced by new concerns... My last few moments of wakefulness, I spend thinking about the future, my future: careers, salaries, industries, expatriations, opportunities... decisions to be made, consequences to be faced...



*Sigh*



Bottom line?



I need a new layout.



Something I made, something I conceptualized.



My creative juices are overflowing, with neither a venue for release nor the time to release it.



Damn.



I need need need a new layout.

That Change Thing Again

Have you ever had that moment when you just want to go up to a person and ask, "What the hell happened to you?" You don't really mean to be rude, you don't mean to lose your manners. You just need answers. You just need an explanation. You just want to know... Exactly what, why and how things turned out the way they did.



I guess this is again one of times that I need to address my issues. My issues with change. My issues with seeing two important people in my life turn into... Someone who I feel like I don't know anymore.



I realize that it's not so much about dealing with the process of change itself than it is about not liking the "finished product." People do change, that much I accept, but do they have to turn into these people that I sooo not want them to be...?



See? That's where the problem lies.



But as a friend, I must learn accept them...



Based on my brainstorming, I came up with some of the reasons why it's so difficult to deal with these changes:

1) the miles between me and the person

2) the lack of constant communication

3) the complete unpredictability of the new person they have turned into



No. 1 & 2 are major reasons why I feel so unprepared for the change. For one reason or another -- maybe physical distance or the fact that you've simply grown apart -- you don't get to see them everyday, then the next time you see them, they have turned into this changed person. It's like going to bed in your room one night, and then waking up to see unfamiliar walls, a different bedspread, in a place totally strange to you. You would just feel so... Displaced. Like you weren't forewarned.



As for item No. 3, this is just because of my being selfish and judgmental... And feeling like the change may not have been for the best. In college I learned that you shouldn't expect others to have the same values and morals as you do. But this is different... They used to be among my very good friends... Heck, I used to love them, and them me. So shouldn't their values and morals be at least similar to mine?



But now... It's just so far from the person I used to know... And nothing could have told me that they'd turn out this way.



I never really expected people to stay the way they were. I never expected to rediscover old friends and realize they haven't changed since grade school or high school. But I also never expected drastic changes that will make these two people seem like strangers to me.



I often think, "So what now if I get to talk to them? What good would that be? That wouldn't change anything." But more than anything else, I still badly want an answer to that question above. An answer to, "What the hell happened to you?" And this is only for one reason: closure. I want to know there was nothing I could have done. I want to know that this change was a whole-hearted decision, one that was done without hesitation. I want to know that this change was... Meant to be. And if it was, I'd shut up. By then I would have made peace with myself.



But if there's a tiny spark of doubt about the change... One tiny little question in their minds... I want to salvage that. Make them consider that changing may not have been their best decision, nor is it their only option. If all they need is a sympathetic soul or a someone who'll listen, I'll be there for them. To help them any which way I can. And maybe they'll come to realize that there's no need to change to find love, or a friend. Because I was there all along to love them just the way they are.



x x x x x

Wish you could read this... Both of you. *sigh*

x x x x x

Come on over to My Place

I remember having a fit when my sister told me that she and her friend had played Scrabble in my room. I am typically possessive and I know it, but when we talk about my room, this possessiveness increases hundred-fold. Maybe it's because my room is the only place I "own" (technically that's not true, it's my parents' but you know what I mean) -- hence I would greatly appreciate if people stayed out of it, unless once of these two conditions are true: one, you are there to clean it or two, I invited you in.



This is in the spirit of "honoring (?)" that place I love so much.

1. What's the color of your bedroom walls?

>A sunny pastel yellow. Love it.



2. What's in the drawer of your dresser?

>I don't have a dresser.



3. Do you have hardwood floor?

>Nope. Ceramic tiles.



4. What kind of pictures are on the walls?

>Lots. High school, College, Module 1 in Denmark, Officemates and a collage picture of Me, Stella and Mark (my MISE Batchmates from the Philippines).



5. Is your computer in the bedroom?

>Most unfortunately, no.



6. Did you make your bed today?

>No...



7. Are your clothes all over the place?

>Nope. I'm somewhat vain with my room. I often prefer spic-and-span.



8. What color are your sheets?

>Blue and white. Stars and moons. Love it.



9. When you walk in the bedroom what's the

first thing you smell?

>The air freshener. Smells heavenly. :)



10. Do you have a tv in your room?

>Yes.



11. Are there any full-length mirrors in plain

view?

>Yes, just one.



12. What's on the table next to the bed?

>My remotes (yes, in plural, haha), the book I'm currently reading and a night lamp.



13. What's in the drawer of the table next to the

bed?

>Hehe. Chocolate. :) and more pictures.



14. What covers the windows? Curtains or mini

blinds?

>Currently, none. Does a blanket count? Hehe.



15. What's piled up under your bed?

>I just emptied it, so none.



16. Is your bed brass or wood framed?

>Not brass, but some kind of metal.



17. Are the lights bright or dim in the room?

>Dim. All are in a warm hue.



18. Do you use a little plug-in night light?

>No. A night lamp, yes.



19. How many wardrobes do u have?

>Just one.



20. Do you drink or smoke in your bedroom?

>No.



21. The most Eye Catching item in the room?

>When you come over, you'll find out. :)

The Writer in Me

Modified 1-Dec 2004, 5:45pm:

THIS POST SUCKS. I AM NOT A WRITER AT ALL.

***********************************************************



Writing used to be my passion.



I hate that I said "used to be."



When I was at the crossroads of my life, namely while I was deciding on a course to take for college, I weighed all my options. Believe it or not, Math was my first love, my first talent. I was first "discovered" for my potential in Math. I remembered joing the MTAP competition during my earlier grade school years.



By sixth grade, however, winds began to blow in another direction. I suddenly found myself a member of the Young Writer's Club and wanting *desperately* to write for our school paper (in Seton -- but they only allowed high school students then). By the time I entered high school and switched schools (went to St. Paul) -- I felt like a full-pledged writer. I competed in essay writing and poetry writing and joined the English Writing Club. I joined the school paper (Paulinian Link) and started contributing features and literary articles. By the end of high school, I was Literary Editor and I received awards for Campus Journalism and Creative Writing.



I remember in high school, friends often ask for my help when there is a writing assignment. I also remember their feedback everytime a (mushy) piece would get published in a new edition of the school paper. I still believe our literary magazine (Humanae Vitae, SPCP LitMag 2000) is one of the better literary magazines that the Paulinians have seen. These things, among others, reinforced my belief that I am indeed a writer at heart.



And so I took BA Organizational Communication in college. Needless to say it was communication-intensive, both oral and written. I loved loved loved my course.



But now I'm afraid the winds of change are blowing once again... this time, I do not want to follow it. My present job requires minimal creativity, let alone requires minimal writing... and I am afraid that I will eventually kill off the writer in me.



This blog is actually an effort to revive that part of me. I know she's there, somewhere, struggling to be free. But... for now, I have to be practical. To stick with the job until I'm stable enough to move on and find what I really want to do... if I still haven't found it in Maersk.



So, ok... I guess I had to write this piece to convince me that Teng the Writer is still alive and kicking.



So scratch the first statement.



Writing is my passion.

Changes

Below is something you will see on my friendster page:

Written 5.Nov.2004.

There are a lot of things about Friendster that now scare me. For the first time in almost four months, I take a good look at my network of friends here (in Friendster) and the first emotion that stabbed me was fear. And even I was surprised.



I now know what it means to be afraid of change. I see my friends and realize that some of them are no longer the same people... Not the ones they used to be. Or at least, they don't seem to be... but I think the scariest part of it all is seeing other people evolving and changing... Then wondering if you still are a part of their new lives... When in fact... You're just another picture in their long list of friends in friendster after all...

I was talking to my good friend Laine only a few minutes ago, telling her the original message of that statement. Actually, what I really wanted to write but edited out was...

But I think the scariest part of it all is seeing other people evolving and changing... and then you look at yourself in the mirror... and see that you have remained the same... you haven't changed, not a bit... Then wondering if you still are a part of their new lives... When in fact... You're just another picture in their long list of friends in friendster after all...

Do you ever feel like everyone's changing, but you haven't changed ENOUGH? Is it that you've been so stuck to something for so long, you don't know if the problem is you or the people around you?



I do believe that change is the only constant in this world. And after all, who is to say that change is not good? Maybe we just get so used to something being the way it is that we hold on to it, even if clearly, it's no longer the way it used to be.



But on th other hand, what's wrong with staying the same? What's wrong with being resistant to change? Have you ever imagined being totally happy and fulfilled, then being forced to change... just because "change is constant?"



Have I stumbled upon another one of life's most unanswerable questions...?



Damn, these are all jumbled thoughts.



Why are you still reading? Shoo! I'll just be confusing you! :)

A Thought from Delamar

I'd rather deal with failure than regret.

A quotable quote from one of the hosts of my new morning radio show, Morning Rush @ RX931. A few months back, my favorite morning show, The Morning Zoo Crew @ MAGIC899 was suddenly cut off air. Just like that. Vanished like a puff of smoke. I always thought they were a little aggressive with their suggestive comments, but I never knew they'd be sacked like that. Oh well. Life.



Not in the mood to blog much, but I really liked Delamar's quote, so there.

Surprise Surprise

I was dumbfounded when I realized that I have not updated my blog for more than a couple of months. I know, I know, this has happened time and again, but, well... It still does kind of surprise me, how I've been so negligent.



I was supposed to have this really long entry with all the nitty gritty of the two extraordinary weeks I spent in Copenhagen for my first module as a MISE trainee. But of course I still haven't gotten around to finishing it. And the worst part of it is, I may have forgotten some of the things that happened... it has been a couple of months after all.



So here I am again, resuscitated. Somehow I always feel like I have so much to say but so little time to type away. And of course during the past two months, so much has happened, I want to spill everything but I simply can't. So as in accordance to my age-old practice, here are some random thoughts:

I think now I know how it feels to be a working student. MISE is like so much like schoolwork, with assignments and lessons and deadlines -- all of which you have to accomplish on top of an 8-hour workday (that often does not end after 8 hours only). Sometimes I do feel like I'm back in school, but with even less time to deal with everything.

My favorite twins are out of the country. I suddenly missed them.

The Incredibles is easily one of the most entertaining movies I've seen in quite a while. My favorite character? Edna Mode, dahling, of course! :)

Playing on Yahoo! LAUNCHradio: Dangerously In Love. I so so so love that song.

My friends tease me about my pictures during the first module. Because there were so many MISE's from over 60 nations, with every degree of skin color you can think of, with blondes, brunettes, corn rows and braids, with chinky eyes and high-bridged noses... All kinds of people, literally. We define multicultural. :p

I watched the Alicia Keys concert! :) With my baby sister Tata and my elder brother Tam, at the Araneta Coliseum. It was sooo worth it. She was phenomenal. I did not feel shortchanged for my tickets. Not a bit.

I've got a new keyboard and a new optical mouse. My computer was reformatted and our DSL connection is up and running again. Now even if I get home from work at 10:00PM, I make it a point to "say hi" to my computer. God I've missed it! :) (This is one of the reasons why I haven't blogged as much... Computer kinda, uh, broke down. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE THOUGH. Haha.)

I'm sleepy now. Need to hit the sack. More random thoughts in the next few posts. I hope.

Straight from Karlslunde

     I never thought I'd write this -- ever -- but I'm blogging right now from Denmark. From a foreign land. Imagine that.



     I miss the Philippines, but not to worry, coz I'm happy here.



     As McDonalds puts it -- I'M LOVIN' IT. :)

Words Aren't Enough...

     to express how happy I am that I'm through with my admission tests.



     And now, for some sleep...

Hold-Departure Order

     Sorry to disappoint all of you guys (specially you, AJ, who seems to be dropping hints about... what was that? shoes? nyahaha!) but it seems my Denmark plans will be temporarily put on hold, until I finish with my online admission tests.



     "What the...?" you, of course, would ask. Admission tests, are, well, as they appear -- tests that gauge whether or not they will admit me for the first learning module in Copenhagen or not. There are 5 areas all in all: Economics, Investment, Fundamentals of Transportation, Maritime Law and (ahem) Communication and Presentation Technique. All these are to be taken online under time pressure. About a month ago modules and books were sent to me in preparation for these tests. But in true to the nature of a certified UP-student-slash-crammer, I waited until the last possible minute until I opened them and (reluctantly) studied again (gasp!).



     So here I am in the middle of the night, just finished taking the first exam (Comm and Presentation Technique, which needless to say is my one strength) and got 14/15 questions right! Hah! But we all know that I am still to be adjudged on the really weighty subjects, which of course I haven't started studying for.



     So again, this is to say that requests for pasalubong shall be put on hold for a while until further notice. Will keep everyone posted.



     For the sake of good order (ATTN: deon, who seems to be surprised that I am now employed, haha) I am indeed currently employed by Maersk-Filipinas, Inc., specifically Maersk Sealand as a Management Trainee in a program called the Maersk International Shipping Education. Those who want to visit me, you can do so by dropping by the 51st floor of PBCom Tower along Ayala Ave. :)

Escape? Yeah, Right!

It's 7:00pm on a Friday night and my hands are clammy, I am cold and I'm still in the office. Is this the life I've dreamed of escaping to when I was back in college??? Dammit, give me my thesis days back!

An Apparition

For those who are wondering, this is to confirm that I am indeed the "slaphappy" featured in Magic 89.9's Jake and Kelly Show last August 4. Ok, now that's out of the way, onto my real entry:



It's been so long (again) since I last blogged. I remember this joke we had back in college about this professor who RARELY came to class. Whenever we would see him, we'd say it's an "apparition" or a "sighting." Nyahaha...



I'm having a hard time sorting all my thoughts out to come up with a cohesive yet comprehensive entry. So in the spirit of totally unrelated thoughts, I'll just type away randomly.

1. I'm leaving for Denmark on September 3 for our first module. I honestly do not know how I feel about it. Happy + anxious + excited + uncertain + scared.
2. I envy the people who update their blogs often. I wish I had the same drive.
3. I love love love my *improved* room. Said goodbye to my wallpaper last Wednesday. Now my room is a happy, sunny yellow and I LOVE IT! :)
4. I will be missing the cheering competition -- for the Nth time!
5. Judgement game today: UP-NU!!! nyahaha!
6. Got my copy of my undergrad thesis. It took me to a ride down memory lane. How I miss my blockmates and all my college friends... *sniff* As I said in my acknowledgement: "I wish college would never end so we can just have fun. Period."
7. So many things are changing. A couple broke up, a couple was "discovered." Love's too complicated.
8. I have new glasses.

Radiation Overload

     As one may have noticed by now, my update is more than a week overdue. Two weeks actually, I think. Well, I have since started to work full-time (orientation days are over) that I have given up time to blog, let alone do anything else other than work, work, and some more work-related stuff.



     The thing is, my work entails me to face a computer for most of the time I spend in the office -- and that is what, roughly 10 hours? (I arrive early and leave late.) After a couple of weeks in the job, I think my eyes have become ten times worse than it originally was! (Partly also because the hard-headed kid in me refuses to wear glasses or contacts.)



     And that is why when I go home at night, I feel like I don't even want to see my computer, let alone sit in front of it to check my mail or type in an entry. Seems like I've had enough computer use from the office. But at least I type even faster now.



     So before my eyes finally give up and pop out of their sockets because of too much radiation, let me end this entry.

There's Something About Mondays

     Woke up late, left home late, traffic at Coastal was bad, arrived in the office later than usual -- hence today's lunchtime blog.



     There really is just something about Mondays, I don't know what. It lacks the frantic energy of Fridays, the excitement and anticipation of mid-week Wednesdays, even ordinary Tuesdays and Thursdays are better. Everything sad, boring or unlucky seems to happen on a Monday. Things like being stuck in traffic, breaking your heel, not doing anything which then makes you uncontrollably sleepy, or having someone in the office play Disney Movie themes all morning (I somehow enjoy it though; at least I hear something other than the rapid clicking of keyboards). Darn.



     On the lighter side of things... what is the lighter side of things?



     Oh! Today is my parents' 24th year ammiversary. :) Amazing, huh? :) In the day of divorces and irreconcilable differences, isn't it great to know that at least there are still some couples who manage to survive? Don't get me wrong, Mama and Papa have had their fair share of big fights and all... But I am thankful that despite us kids being grown up already, slowly building our own lives and moving towards independence, my parents still find reasons to stay together everyday.



     When I decide who that someone is whom I'll spend my forever with, I can only pray that we'll be half as happy as my parents.



     Some more random thoughts...

• I sooo want to eat at A Veneto.



• I know a lot of Disney Songs by heart! (Surprising realization of the day.)



• Inauguration na pala on Wednesday... di ba yun non-working holiday? :)



• Drove the Altis to work today. Still breaking it in. Miss my CR-V. *sigh*



• Saw Jolina Magdangal try to sing Kelis' MILKSHAKE while dancing it too. She failed. Miserably.



• Janice de Belen's tube dress from yesterday's S Files was horrible. Plain horrible.



• Alicia Keys ♥ Usher --> music industry's new big-time love team. Move over, Beyonce ♥ Jay-Z.



• One elevator in PBCOM isn't working. Lalang.



• I want a new cellphone.



• Andami kong random thoughts. Haha.

Thanks, Baby. [In Memoriam: XAN-103]

     Today, I said goodbye to a dear friend, to a helping hand that was always there, to a loyal companion ready to take on any adventure with me... Today, I said goodbye to my baby, my CR-V.



     To most people this may seem weird, being so attached to a vehicle. But my CR-V was more than just that to me... It took me home safely everytime for the past year, and if only for that, I can say that she has treated me well.



     The CR-V is my third car; but unlike the two before it, I had begged and pleaded to my parents for over a month until they finally decided to give it to me. In other words, it was the only car I ever really wanted, that's why it had meant so much to me. But for practical reasons, the CR-V had to go... It was becoming older by the year (we all know vehicles are depreciating assets), and it was no longer wise for me to bring it to the office everyday because as a 4x4, it gulps down gas by the gallon. Another year with it would have been impractical and costly.



     Of course, it was not easy to say goodbye. I have had many memories with my CR-V. I survived my last year in college with her help. Looking back I really feel that my CR-V always did take care of me. I can remember so many memories with my car, and it only makes me miss her even more, like when...

     ...I drove it to UP Diliman for the first time.

     ...we went to a rally at the Senate and I had 11 passengers.

     ...it brought me to Libis every night for a whole week during Show*Off rehearsals.

     ...I took my whole family to PICC during graduation.

     ...it was towed and I had to leave in the middle of thesis class to fetch it -- with, of course, a fee of P1,500.

     ...I was flagged down in EDSA for crossing the yellow line.

     ...I had cried inside the car right after thesis defense, out of exhaustion.

     ...I had cried inside the car when I was depressed during my first week at work.

     ...we brought it to Subic only last summer.

     ...all the lolas were riding it, and we were just plain having a good time.

     Numerous other memories come to mind but it all boils down to the fact that my CR-V had become a very important part of my life, making me feel secure wherever I may be because I know there will always be a way to go home, alive and safe.



     My CR-V's new owner is very much like me; it will be given as a gift to another daughter from her father. And I know being the trusty vehicle, friend and comapnion that she is, she'll take care of her new owner just like she took care of me.



     Like they say about good friends and first loves, I know that my CR-V will never be forgotten. I will always have a memory of how good it felt to drive it, to just be inside it, to just be near it.



     People fall in love and get attached to many things. For me, it was my car. So for what it's worth... Goodbye baby, and thanks. I owe you so much.

Thoughts on a Rainy Friday

     It was a rainy, gloomy Friday as I made my way to the office today. As I fetched my morning dose of Mochachino (from the office vendo, of course) the large windows in the pantry were fogged up, and I could only see so far into the nearby Makati buildings. The rain continued to pour and the traffic was swelling, which is perhaps also the reason why there are so few people in the office at this time.



     Looking back a couple of posts ago (In Restrospective), among these things:

Tomorrow I will...

1. eat crispy pata at Max's!!!

2. wake up early -- again.

3. drink free Mochachino from the office vendo. :)

4. celebrate something. :)

I realized that the only thing I was able to do yesterday was wake up early. Ironically, none of these plans materialized. I was able to eat crispy pata, though not the way and not with the person I originally planned to have it with. Even my favorite office-vendo-Mochachino was missing that day! Of course, it was because I did buy a Coffee Jelly Frappucino from Starbucks – an indulgence, I admit! Oh well. I deserved it. (Yeah, I did. Haha.)



     It’s the end of the week once again. Time seems to fly so fast nowadays. I remember last night, I told papa how I felt like I spent so little time at home nowadays. “Naghahabol ng oras,” I believe, were my exact words. I never seem to have time to even check my personal mail, surf the Net for leisure, watch my favorite TV shows, or read a book. All of a sudden it’s 11:00pm and I have to sleep, lest I wake up late the next day. Whew. This work thing is taking a lot of getting used to.



     On the brighter side of things, of course I still thank God it’s Friday! I have two whole days to do all the stuff I want to do, two whole days to spend with my family (specially Tata who I miss so much), two whole days before I have to repeat the vicous cycle I call my work week. But really, I’m also looking forward to the 30th – coz it’s my first salary! Woohoo!



     Work is tough, but at least it pays off (literally). ü

Reflections on the Presidency

     I don’t think I have ever blogged this early! Unless of course you count my midnight-slash-dawn blogs back when I was masquerading as a student and when staying up as late (or early?) as 3am was totally permissible. I am actually already in the office because I had to commute (gasp!) today, and I am braving the watchful eye of our IT department by sneaking in a post. Haha.



     Onto heavier stuff. President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo was proclaimed today, and is officially given a fresh mandate of six years to either slay or save this nation. We have seen how divided our nation is in terms of political beliefs. I together with all who voted for Pres. Arroyo can finally breathe a sigh of relief, but I understand how difficult it would be for the opposition, specially the supporters and voters of Fernando Poe, Jr. to accept this proclamation.



     It’s funny how they say that in Philippine Elections, there are only two candidates: the winner (ang panalo) and the cheated (ang dinaya). Is this really how sore we Filipinos are as losers?



     I remember how I ran for the presidency of my academic org back in 4th year college, and how I had cried foul after my opponent’s proclamation. Looking back, I still maintain my stand that we could have had a better electoral process. But in terms of claiming that I was the rightful president, I have stopped doing so long ago. I had seen how it was futile to do so; after all, I had won to an equally credible opponent, and I believed had fought for my right to the best of my ability. I still carry my what-if’s regarding that presidency, but for the most part, I have merely charged it to experience.



     In a democratic process, there is a winner and there is a loser. Perhaps there was cheating or perhaps it was clean as a whistle. All the same, it is painful to lose, all the more in nationwide elections because so much effort and resources were put into the job. Thus if you are on the losing end, to be saddened by the results is totally natural; you are even allowed to sour-grape and bad-mouth to a certain extent, because everyone understands how much a candidate has invested in a campaign. But one day this will have to stop, and the desire to have a peaceful, progressive nation should prevail.



     We have all had our share of losses, and I am sure that to a certain level we can empathize with FPJ, Ping, Roco and Villanueva. But we have a new president now, and as soon as GMA commences her task of leading and healing this divided nation, our duties as responsible citizens to support and trust a single president likewise begins.



     Sa totoo lang, ano nga ba ang pinagkaiba ni GMA kay FPJ? Pareho naman silang Pilipino. Pareho lang din nilang nais isalba ang ating bansa. Fundamentally, they are equals… people with the same goals, the same aspirations, the same dreams for this country – let’s not complicate it too much. It is a tough job, the presidency, and somebody’s got to do it – this time, it’s GMA.



     We have chosen, we have voted… and now, it’s just about time to get on with our lives.

In Retrospective

     This is a survey from what we now know as the new "survey factory" -- what else but Friendster.

10 Years Ago, I...

1. was only a decade old.

2. became a big sister.

3. was studying in Elizabeth Seton.

4. did not know how to drive.

5 Years Ago, I...

1. spent the last of "the best years oy my life" -- high school @SPCP.

2. met a very special person.

3. went to Baguio for the first time.

4. did not know i would be here answering this survey today.

3 Years Ago, I...

1. entered college.

2. attended an "orientation" for a sorority.

3. was Sabayang Pagbigkas coach for the first time.

4. had the worst interview of my life.

A Year Ago, I...

1. was working on my thesis.

2. was contemplating about today, wondering what I'd be doing.

3. enjoyed the company of my blockmates. How I miss them.

4. lost the Orcomsoc elections.

This Year, I...

1. graduated!

2. had my room retiled.

3. had my first job.

4. went through major, very overwhelming changes.

Yesterday, I....

1. cried.

2. went to office on public transportation!

3. checked my e-mail.

4. slept early.

Today, I ....

1. wore long sleeves.

2. purposefully almost bumped a jeepney.

3. enjoyed work.

4. made plans for tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will...

1. eat crispy pata at Max's!!!

2. wake up early -- again.

3. drink free Mochachino from the office vendo. :)

4. celebrate something. :)

50 First Floor

I work in the fifty-first floor of the tallest building in the Philippines. Our whole office has a commanding view of pretty much everything. Situated along Ayala Ave. in Makati, I can see as far as the Manila Bay, D. Macapagal, the airport... sometimes I like to think that I can even see my house in Las Pinas. :)



Tomorrow, wednesday, it would be a week since my first day as an employee. But to this day, I still feel overwhelmed, lost, confused, depressed, and then some.



I am presently a Management Trainee in a large, global company. According to the HR Manager, I together with two other trainees bested over 2,000 aspiring applicants to the international education program that they offer. The company provides above-industry compensation and benefits that anyone would be crazy not to enjoy. My colleagues are smart, ambitious, young and driven...



...so why, then, do i feel so alone?

Blubber

     While my parents were in the grocery this afternoon, I accompanied my sister to buy new shoes for P.E. class. Apparently, there was a new rule in school -- they had to wear only dominantly white rubber shoes or sneakers with their P.E. uniforms, and my sister claimed that this was to be strictly enforced.



     After purchasing the shoes, we proceeded to National Book Store. I had wanted to buy Dan Brown's Angels and Demons but the queue for the cashier was so long; it would not be worth it. As we headed back to the grocery to meet up with our parents, we passed by the Book Sale stall. The compulsive book-buyer in me was immediately drawn to the spot.



     I grabbed the latest issue of my favorite interior design magazine when I remembered this one book I had been looking for -- Judy Blume's Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." As a kid, it had been one of the very few boooks outside of the Sweet Valley Series that I loved. Sadly, over the years, I lost my copy and has been unable to find one since forever.



     I rummaged through the piles and piles of second-hand books, searching for it, when I stumbled upon several books by Judy Blume placed one after the other. I felt almost sick with anticipation as I flipped through them. There was no "Are You There God..." but the next best one was there: Blubber.



     I was so excited to see this book that I had gone through five chapters even before purchasing it. When I got home, I couldn't take my mind off reading it.



     So now that I've told you the story, I'm going back to reading it. :)



     ...It's been so long since I last blogged. My writing skills have become so rusty. Yuck.

      My interior design *hobby* is becoming more of an obsession for me. A couple of days ago I spent a hefty chunk of my Christmas money to buy these interior design books. I dunno. I'm starting to have even less zest for school now that classes are resuming. And that's not a good thing.



      Plus, I have been disregarding this blog yet again. Tsk tsk. Not good.



      I have lots to talk about but no energy to type them in. I guess it would have to wait. Bed's calling me. It's first day of classes (yet again) tomorrow (or rather, later) after all.



      This (pathetic) blog needs something exciting.