Allowing myself a few moments of sadness.
*click*
It's starting.
With an unlimited internet connection in my room, I have succumbed to the temptation of checking the fares from Beijing to Manila. Also tried some other combinations like Beijing - Hong Kong - Manila and Beijing - Singapore - Manila. All this, despite knowing that I won't probably be going home anytime soon. Perhaps the earliest date would be in February 2007, when the lessons in BLCU formally end. Yes, that means passing up going home for my birthday, Christmas and New Year.
I also think that the fact that I am online all the time can aggravate these feelings. Yahoo Messenger is on all the time which keeps you (unconsciously) waiting for the people you want to talk with. And it doesn't help that due to really bad weather, a big part of Metro Manila still does not have electricity - which means, very few people can go online - which means, I am stuck with waiting for a couple more days.
I'm trying to fight it. It's too early to give in to these feelings.
I'm trying to focus on the lessons. They're hard. Which makes it somewhat easier to not think of anything else but practicing and reading and reviewing and getting better with Mandarin.
Phew.
I just had to get it out of my system.
Before it eats me alive.
Okay. I'm switching to happy mode again.
*click*
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Friday, September 29, 2006
The State of Moi
Okay, first things first.
1) I did not get the Canada position.
2) I cried buckets of tears over it. I really felt like sh*t then.
3) Last Sept 9, I left Cebu to be reassigned to the Ortigas office.
4) Last Sept 19, Round 2 of the Expatriation process began.
5) On that day, I applied for the position of Deputy Manager for Internal Communication for Greater China Area (GCA) - a MISE Mandarin position which means it will entail 4.5 months of learning the Mandarin Language and a 3-year expatriation (as opposed to the normal 2 years).
6) On Sept 22, the hiring manager interviewed me in the morning and offered me the job in the afternoon.
7) I had my despedida last Sept 23.
8) I left for Beijing last Sept 28.
9) I am now in my room in the Conference Center of the Beijing Language and Culture University (BLCU).
Sorry. I wasn't in the mood to weave all of the above events into a cohesive paragraph. As a matter of fact I am still quite exhausted by the pace at which all of these events took place. To say that it was rushed is an understatement.
I arrived here only yesterday a little past lunchtime. I lugged 3 suitcases totalling to 74 kgs (I'm not joking and the excess baggage fee is no f'ing joke either) from BLCU's South Gate to the Conference Center - for some reason, my taxi didn't take me inside the campus, and believe me you'd have no patience to ask for an explanation.
Classes started today for me. My other 4 classmates (Andrea, Brendan, Joakim and Tine, all from my MISE batch) have already had 2 days' worth of classes which means I'm trying real hard to catch up with them. It is a very intensive class, like a juice concentrate of the Mandarin Language if you will. Imagine trying to cram 1 year's worth of language lessons in 4.5 months. At the end of the day, it can leave you exhausted. But I promised myself that I will try really hard to learn as much as I can. I want to make the most out of this opportunity. After all, many people have also attested that despite the short period of time learning the language in this course, students do get quite proficient afterwards. I'm crossing my fingers.
Ok, about the being alone thing again. It's not a secret that I really had a hard time in Cebu dealing with the fact that I was so far away from home. And if you think about it, I should be feeling the same way now, if not worse, right? Beijing is in a different country, the English and Chinese languages are so disparate, the people don't really look like me as much as the Cebuanos do. So even I surprised myself when I didn't feel depressed about leaving.
Not that I'm glad, of course I still feel a little sadness, but I'm also proud of the fact that maybe I have matured somehow, knowing that these things are just challenges that I can overcome, and feelings of homesickness will naturally come to pass. I have accepted that it's normal to cry sometimes but it shouldn't get in the way of living your days in an exciting new environment that you are yet to explore.
So here's to living in Beijing, speaking the han yu (Chinese language), and to chasing our dreams!
1) I did not get the Canada position.
2) I cried buckets of tears over it. I really felt like sh*t then.
3) Last Sept 9, I left Cebu to be reassigned to the Ortigas office.
4) Last Sept 19, Round 2 of the Expatriation process began.
5) On that day, I applied for the position of Deputy Manager for Internal Communication for Greater China Area (GCA) - a MISE Mandarin position which means it will entail 4.5 months of learning the Mandarin Language and a 3-year expatriation (as opposed to the normal 2 years).
6) On Sept 22, the hiring manager interviewed me in the morning and offered me the job in the afternoon.
7) I had my despedida last Sept 23.
8) I left for Beijing last Sept 28.
9) I am now in my room in the Conference Center of the Beijing Language and Culture University (BLCU).
Sorry. I wasn't in the mood to weave all of the above events into a cohesive paragraph. As a matter of fact I am still quite exhausted by the pace at which all of these events took place. To say that it was rushed is an understatement.
I arrived here only yesterday a little past lunchtime. I lugged 3 suitcases totalling to 74 kgs (I'm not joking and the excess baggage fee is no f'ing joke either) from BLCU's South Gate to the Conference Center - for some reason, my taxi didn't take me inside the campus, and believe me you'd have no patience to ask for an explanation.
Classes started today for me. My other 4 classmates (Andrea, Brendan, Joakim and Tine, all from my MISE batch) have already had 2 days' worth of classes which means I'm trying real hard to catch up with them. It is a very intensive class, like a juice concentrate of the Mandarin Language if you will. Imagine trying to cram 1 year's worth of language lessons in 4.5 months. At the end of the day, it can leave you exhausted. But I promised myself that I will try really hard to learn as much as I can. I want to make the most out of this opportunity. After all, many people have also attested that despite the short period of time learning the language in this course, students do get quite proficient afterwards. I'm crossing my fingers.
Ok, about the being alone thing again. It's not a secret that I really had a hard time in Cebu dealing with the fact that I was so far away from home. And if you think about it, I should be feeling the same way now, if not worse, right? Beijing is in a different country, the English and Chinese languages are so disparate, the people don't really look like me as much as the Cebuanos do. So even I surprised myself when I didn't feel depressed about leaving.
Not that I'm glad, of course I still feel a little sadness, but I'm also proud of the fact that maybe I have matured somehow, knowing that these things are just challenges that I can overcome, and feelings of homesickness will naturally come to pass. I have accepted that it's normal to cry sometimes but it shouldn't get in the way of living your days in an exciting new environment that you are yet to explore.
So here's to living in Beijing, speaking the han yu (Chinese language), and to chasing our dreams!
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