Dreaming in Mandarin

If last week, I had a post everyday, then I back to ignoring my blog this week. It has been so hectic, these Mandarin classes, I don't think I've even had the time to catch my breath.

We've been breezing through the lessons at a frantic pace. Ok, given that this is an intensive course, I should have expected it. But still. Give me the liberty to whine. Hehe.

We finished 6 lessons, one lesson a day and usually with homework to boot and a quiz the next day. We've been having 6 hours of classes everyday from Sunday to Friday. Really. No other word for it. Nakakaloka.

By the way, I've been dreaming in Mandarin. Andrea, wo de tongxue (my classmate), said that this is one sign that we are becoming bilingual. Or in most of our cases, tri-lingual. Yes!

Sleepless

Encoding a hand-written blog entry.

It's 6:55 in the morning and I haven't slept a wink. I finally decided to just go out of my room and see what's outside.

It is noticeably cold. Cold for someone who came from a country where you couldn't step out of your door without breaking a sweat.

Oh yes it's cold. And the wind is blowing.

I realize that even China, with its billion people, falls quiet during the morning. It's weirdly unsettling, this silence.

I had thought about running again this morning, but I had run only a few hours ago. Eleven hours to be exact. Running again would be suicide for my sleepless body and restless mind.

I plug my iPod into my ears and hit shuffle. The first song: With A Smile. Maybe the world is telling me something.

I see some people doing Tai-chi.

My stomach grumbles. But I'm not in the mood for a breakfast of dumplings and mini-siopao (official name: baozi). No, thanks.

I've spent a lot of time in my room the past few days. Three out of five times, I had told the cleaning ladies to come back the next day (official statement: ming tian). They wanted to clean but I was in the room. They wanted to clean but I was in the way. Too bad.

Oddly, I don't feel sad. It's ok that I'm here. Not discounting the fact, of course, that it would be better if I were home. But yeah, I'm ok with not being home. Scratch that. It's more of... being resigned to reconciled with the situation.

That being said, isn't it just... sad? Sad and ironic? I believe that there really is no place like home. So how can anyone expect another to feel when they're not... you know... home?

I have no answers to that.

Classes will resume tomorrow. Yep, sunday. What a glorious day.

I should go to sleep.

It's 9:15am and I'm still up.

I don't think I've ever stayed up for more than 24 hours since my college days when all-nighters were normal.

I really should go to sleep.

And I will, after the cleaning ladies arrive. They're down the hall already. Hehehe...

And the Question Is... At Ang Tanong Ay...

How do you follow a blog entry like that?

The reaction to my previous blog entry has been, well, unexpected and funny. Someone thought I was on drugs (hilarious, Stella!) and someone seems to be doubting my sanity as well (thanks for the concern, Lucy!) and the rest, pretty much just had a difficult time reading it.

Well, this is just to confirm that I am neither on drugs, nor am I depressed. My biggest problem right now is sleeplessness. Case in point: I'm still up at 3:38 am, posting this. I really can't figure out the cause of this... I'm thinking it's the bed, or its placement, or something to that effect. I can't wait to move out. (Yeah. In 5 months.)

Classes will be resuming on Sunday. So tomorrow I will be fully focused on reviewing the lessons. At least, that's the plan. I'll let you know how that turns out.

Anyway, it rained today. Nothing too special about that, it's just that it was my first rainfall here in China. At first I wasn't too sure if it was really faint thunder I was hearing, what with all the constructions going on I thought it was just some heavy machinery dropping something (hah!), but yeah, turns out it actually meant rain. It was just a light shower though, which stopped after about half an hour. After which, I proceeded to walking to the nearby McDonald's for some dinner. Some Friday night, huh? :)

I should go to sleep.

Mahirap Talaga Ang Walang Kausap

Kakatapos ko lang basahin ang pinakahuling libro ni Bob Ong na pinamagatang Stainless Longganisa. Kanina lang habang binabasa ko yun, naisip ko na antagal ko na palang hindi nagsusulat sa Tagalog.

Bakit nga ba English ang gamit ko sa blog ko? At hindi lang sa blog, sa halos lahat nga isulat ko. Ewan. Sa totoo lang simula pa noon, komportable ako sa English. Siguro kasi yun yung paborito kong subject mula pa nung Grade 3 ako.

Kahit ngayon, habang tinatype ko 'to, parang automatic nagtatranslate ang utak ko. As in. Overdrive. Di talaga siya sanay. Wala lang.

* * *

Dati tinanong ng Linguistics professor ko, kapag nag-iisip ba tayo, may lengwahe? Nakalimutan ko na yung sagot dun. Meron nga ba? Kung wala, bakit pag nasa utak ko, "neutral" ang mga konsepto, bakit pagdating sa pag-eexpress, kailangan kong pumili ng lengwahe?

English? Filipino?

At ngayon... Mandarin?

Nakakaloka.

* * *

Yung unang kopya ko ng Stainless Longganisa, naiwan ko sa seat pocket ng Cebu Pacific mga isang buwan na ang nakalipas. Kasi gwapo talaga yung flight attendant nun. Siguro kaya ko naiwan. Hehe.

Pero bago ako tumulak ng China, sinigurado kong bumili ulit ng librong yun. Maganda kasi. Kinukwento ni Bob ang mga pinagdaanan niya bilang manunulat.

* * *

Madaming beses ko narin pinagdudahan ang pagiging "writer" ko. Noon, feel na feel ko yun. Nagsimula yang lahat nung grade 6 ako. First time namin magkaroon ng school organ nun at tuwang tuwa ako. Gustong gusto kong sumali. Naalala ko pa nga gumawa pa talaga ako ng article nun na gusto kong ipasa. Kaya lang pang high school lang ata yun nun.

Kaya sumali nalang ako sa "Young Writers Club." Hindi ko na maalala kung dahil ba yun sa kagustuhan kong magsulat o talagang wala na kong masalihan na club noon. Pero naaalala ko pa yung first meeting namin. Naglaro kami ng game na parang dugtong-dugtong ang kwento. One sentence per member. Nakalimutan ko na nga lang kung ano ang topic nun.

Tapos, lumipat ako nung high school. Dunsa nilipatan ko, established na ang school paper. Pero hindi pa pwede sumali ang mga freshmen. Kaya ayun, sablay nanaman. Sumali ako sa isang English club, hindi ko na maalala kun reading o writing club yun, pero ang naaalala ko kaisaisa akong freshman dun.

Kaya tinyaga ko nalang din ang pagsali sa mga essay-writing at poem-writing contests. Kahit anong topic, sinasalihan ko. History, Science, Christian Living, pati yata nung foundation day namin may ganung pa-contest at sinalihan ko rin. Kaya nang maging sophomore ako, talagang tahasan na akong nag-apply sa school paper. Ayun, awa ng Diyos ay nakapasok naman.

Tuloy-tuloy na yan hanggang naging kung ano anong editor narin ako pagsampa ko ng 4th year. Kaya siguro pakiramdam talaga ng mga tao e "writer" ako. At minsan, kahit ako napapaniwala na "writer" nga ako. Pero may mga pagkakataon din na nauunahan ako ng duda at pagkawala ng kompiyansa sa sarili.

* * *

Naging madali sa akin ang pagsusulat. Kunwari magpapagawa ng theme paper ang teacher, yakang yaka ko yun. Kahit tula, pag binibigyan kami ng topic, mabilis lang sa kin yun. At naging prueba naman na pwede na ang mga nasulat ko, ay ang grades na natatanggap ko. Hindi naman ako nagkaroon ng line of 7 nun sa mga naisulat ko.

Pero para sakin, ang pinakamalaking hamon ng pagsusulat ay yung kapag walang nagsasabi sayo kung tungkol saan ang isusulat mo. Kasi ang pagsusulat, para sakin, halong "skill" at "talent" -- skill, dahil naituturo at natututunan ito; talent, dahil may aspeto ang pagsusulat na bigay ng Diyos at hindi napag-aaralan. At sa "talent" pumapasok ang pag-iisip kung tungkol saan ba ang isusulat mo, kapag wala nang teacher o editor o propesor na nagbibigay sa iyo ng assigned topic.

Kaya minsan talaga, napag-iisip ako. Ang pagsusulat ko ba ay "skill" lamang na natutunan ko sa eskwelahan, o may halo ring "talent"? At kung may "talent" man... nasaan ang "talent" na yun ngayon?

* * *

Sa totoo lang, gusto kong makilala si Bob Ong. Hindi dahil celebrity na siya, o dahil naka-limang libro na siya, pero dahil interesante ang mga pananaw niya sa buhay. Salungat man ang iba nun sa mga sarili kong pananaw, hindi ba't yun ang mga bagay na masarap pag-usapan? Yung mga tipong, wala lang, wala kayong magawa, kaya ang pinagdiskitahan niyo nalang e intelligent conversation. O kaya kahit conversation lang, hindi na kailangang intelligent.

Kaya Bob, kung nasan ka man, kwentuhan naman tayo minsan.

(At kung may nagbabasa nito na kakilala ang totoong Bob Ong, ipakilala niyo din ako... Salamat.)

* * *

Ito ang bagay na pinaka-ayaw ko pag wala ako sa Pilipinas. Ang kawalan ng kausap.

Matagal ko nang napagtanto na mahirap talaga ang walang kausap. Nawawalan ng direksiyon ang pag-iisip mo. Nakakapurol din ito ng utak, dahil kulang ka na sa exercise. At higit sa lahat, nakakapanis ng laway.

Kaya delikado.

Learning Mandarin & Pics of My Current Abode

I just finished reviewing my lessons. I didn't want my one-week holiday to be good for nothing. So I'm trying my best to polish my spoken Mandarin by going through the four lessons we have covered so far (the first two of which, I missed) -- and it is quite a challenge.

I have to stop thinking about this being so hard. Positive thinking. Positive vibes. Positive energy. I can do this! Aaaaarrrrggghhhh. This is me attempting to turn frustration into motivation.

At least, I now know how to count - y? èr s?n sì w? liù q? b? ji? shí. And I have practiced and practiced until I can perfectly say a tongue twister. Excuse my modesty but this is my biggest accomplishment thus far: Sì shì sì. Shí shì shí. Shísì shì shísì. Sìshí shì sìshí. Yay for me! Heheh.

Anyway, since quite a handful of people (members of my family mainly) are asking how I am and what I've been doing and where I've been staying, and also for the benefit of the not-so-curious (a.k.a. those who just stumbled upon this post) here are some shots of my current abode.






So there. Honestly, I can't wait for classes to end so I can move in to the company staff house (read: my own place!) once I start working again. But for now, this would have to do. After all, the main focus is learning Mandarin, not living a life of luxury. Oh but not to worry because the reward for it will soon come... ;)

Damn. I really really really can't wait!

Semi-Nega Post

I'm trying to stay positive. Specially considering the fact that I am not home (read: Las Pinas, Philippines) and I cannot allow myself to be too sad at the risk of eventually giving up and wanting to leave. But of course I do have rants. So indulge me in one negative post and I promise to stay away from too many rants from now on!

1. My room here in BLCU is sooo small. Yes I have a balcony but it is of no use to me! I'd rather have more space.
2. The bed is sooo hard. It hurts my back.
3. There is a lack of surfaces to place stuff. Grrrr.
4. There are no hangers!!!
5. I cannot buy too much stuff for the place because I'm moving out right after the course, around 4 months from now. Sayang naman diba?
6. I hate Chikka kasi laging nadi-disconnect!!! But do i have a choice?! No!!! Because it's free! Haay. Can anybody help me solve that?

Okay enough of those! Sabi nga ni Stella, postive vibes... :)

On a happier note, I had a good lunch today.


Yummy wherever you have it.


Whenever I am in a foreign land, McDonalds always provides me some sort of security. Like, even if I don't speak the language, I will not die of hunger nor will I have to accidentally eat any exotic food -- because there's always McDonalds.

Come to think of it, maybe I do believe in that statement more than I care to admit! I have eaten in McDonalds in most, if not all of the cities I've been to! Copenhagen, Rome, Milan, Berlin, Hong Kong, Tokyo -- even Cagayan de Oro... Ah except for the Southeast Asian ones. Singapore, Bintan, Bohol and Bangkok (I remember I had KFC here instead, haha). That's an interesting albeit slightly scary thought.

But then again, I'm still glad that I have McDonalds as my security blanket when it comes to meals. It's never easy being in a foreign land, and anything that can make you feel comfortable or the least bit secure, you'll hang on to it.

So, how much do you think McDonalds will pay me for this shameless plug? :)

Day 1 of my Week-Long Holiday

I have no classes from today until Saturday. It's the Chinese National Day Celebration and apparently it is a really big holiday which warrants a one-week vacation for everyone, which includes me.

Kind of makes you wonder why no one warned me that this was going to be the case. I could have stayed home a little longer and flew in after the holidays. But anyway. I'm here now so enough about that already.

Spent the whole day just inside my room. Woke up at around 11am with a text message from Papa saying that they are in Mama's office waiting for me to go online. Apparently there are already a few parts of Paranaque and Las Pinas where electricity has been restored, including Mama's office in San Dionisio. It was nice to chat with them for almost a couple of hours.

After that I grabbed some really late lunch. Yummy Chinese Takeout!



Xingang Rice, Lemon Chicken and Long Mushroom with Sesame Oil




When they say Corn Ice Cream...




They mean Corn Ice Cream. :)


That's basically the highlight of my day.

Wow, how much more boring can it get?