Of Forgetting People, Of Forgetting Me

How long does it take for people to forget? How long does it take for people to stop yearning, stop missing and once again start moving on with their own lives -- and this time, with one person less?

No, this is not about forgetting past loves and heartaches and trying in vain to get over someone. This kind of forgetting I'm pondering about is the type which probably occurs even more commonly than the romance-related ones.

It has been over four months since I left Manila to work here in Beijing. And it is not a secret that I do feel strongly about being away from home. But today, a realization hit me and I was surprised that I never viewed things from perspective of forgetting before.

How long will it take for people to forget me?

I know I will not be gone forever, it's only three years! But how long will/did it take for people to almost not feel that I am gone? How long before they stop/stopped wishing I was with them? How long before they stop/stopped counting the hours, days, weeks since they last heard from me? How long before they get/got so used to not seeing me or not being with me, that they stop/stopped remembering that I am part/once part of their lives?

I realize it is selfish for me to ask people to remember me every second of the day. This is not only impossible, but also useless. I guess, all I am saying is that, perhaps for all of us who are away from home, there will always be a fear of being forgotten.

The fear of people forgetting your smile, your laugh, your words.
The fear of people forgetting how it was to be around you, be beside you, be with you.
The fear of people forgetting that you love them -- or worse -- that they love you.

And once you come back, how long will it take them to remember all these again...

...if they ever will?

***For Mariel -- who knows how it feels to be away from home and who probably has the same fears as I do. Chin up, Mariel, kaya natin 'to! I hope. :)

A Much-Needed Resuscitation

There was a time when I could not access blogger from China, which is why I then switched to blogging in Multiply. Now, Multiply is not accessible from China, so I'm switching back to Blogger. With a new (albeit very simple) layout to boot.

This layout is also supposed to crossover to my new domain as well - www.novemberthree.com - but so far I have been unsuccessful at making it work. Add to that the fact the the my internet connection here in the university has not been fully restored since the Taiwan earthquake. So I am trying to be v-e-r-y-p-a-t-i-e-n-t with trying to solve all my blog issues including, but not limited to:

1. Accessing Multiply and moving all blog posts from the last few months to Blogger
2. Making sense out of how files are being organized in the domain
3. Knowing where blogger is saving everything in the domain
4. Just making the blog look organized, because I have already given up on trying to make it look "nice"

I just realized that it is so difficult to choose one venue to publish your thoughts. Blogging services are popping up left, right and center. Now, even networking sites like Friendster and Multiply - which should have been dedicated to networking - also offer blogging capabilites. And yet there is no way to cross-post an entry to all of these facilities. I know Multiply has an option for cross-posting but it almost never works.

Anyway enough blogging woes and onto the updates. One more week to go and we are done with the Mandarin training. I have been sooo looking forward to starting work again. Sounds weird but I really am tired of studying. Right after I graduated from college, I entered the MISE Program, 50% of which is theoretical training i.e. studying and homeworks and projects and exams. Three months after graduating from MISE, I again join a language course that entailed memorizing and previewing and reviewing and all that crap EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE PAST FOUR MONTHS. What am I doing to myself???

And so now I am swearing off studying for the good two years that I am here in Beijing. Pahinga naman muna diba?