No, this is not about forgetting past loves and heartaches and trying in vain to get over someone. This kind of forgetting I'm pondering about is the type which probably occurs even more commonly than the romance-related ones.
It has been over four months since I left Manila to work here in Beijing. And it is not a secret that I do feel strongly about being away from home. But today, a realization hit me and I was surprised that I never viewed things from perspective of forgetting before.
How long will it take for people to forget me?
I know I will not be gone forever, it's only three years! But how long will/did it take for people to almost not feel that I am gone? How long before they stop/stopped wishing I was with them? How long before they stop/stopped counting the hours, days, weeks since they last heard from me? How long before they get/got so used to not seeing me or not being with me, that they stop/stopped remembering that I am part/once part of their lives?
I realize it is selfish for me to ask people to remember me every second of the day. This is not only impossible, but also useless. I guess, all I am saying is that, perhaps for all of us who are away from home, there will always be a fear of being forgotten.
The fear of people forgetting your smile, your laugh, your words.
The fear of people forgetting how it was to be around you, be beside you, be with you.
The fear of people forgetting that you love them -- or worse -- that they love you.
And once you come back, how long will it take them to remember all these again...
...if they ever will?
***For Mariel -- who knows how it feels to be away from home and who probably has the same fears as I do. Chin up, Mariel, kaya natin 'to! I hope. :)
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