"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it oepns up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
Neil Gaiman
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Waiting for PR853
I’m here at the airport. Flying back to Cebu today. I’m so freakin’ sleepy. I thought my flight was at 7:30am so I woke up at 5:30am this morning, only to check my ticket and find out that I was on the 9:30 flight. My dad was bringing me to the airport and I was too ashamed to admit that I had gotten my flight wrong so I told him it was 8:30am instead. So I’ve been here since 7:00am. Stupid me. Note to self: For all future flights, check your ticket the night before.
I’ve got this really bad case of cough. I rarely get sick that’s why I hate this painful, scratchy throat. Plus, it’s so inconvenient. I hope I get rid of it. Soon.
Last June 3rd, I graduated from my 2-year MISE Program. Many people, myself included, have now shifted to a new rhetorical question: What now?
Technically, I should be expatriated sometime between August 2006 and early 2007. Available jobs for my MISE batch will only be available starting the 1st of August, therefore I would not know where I’m going or what my position is going to be before this date.
Sometimes it saddens me when I think about how, in the past two years, I’ve rarely stayed put in one place, due to the nature of my employment. My life has become so mobile that I feel like I am always on the run, always on the way to somewhere else, and it tires me at times. But when I complain about it, people always say that’s the price I pay for everything that I’m enjoying now.
Favorite line that comes to mind: They never said it would be easy; they only said it will be worth it.
I’ve got this really bad case of cough. I rarely get sick that’s why I hate this painful, scratchy throat. Plus, it’s so inconvenient. I hope I get rid of it. Soon.
Last June 3rd, I graduated from my 2-year MISE Program. Many people, myself included, have now shifted to a new rhetorical question: What now?
Technically, I should be expatriated sometime between August 2006 and early 2007. Available jobs for my MISE batch will only be available starting the 1st of August, therefore I would not know where I’m going or what my position is going to be before this date.
Sometimes it saddens me when I think about how, in the past two years, I’ve rarely stayed put in one place, due to the nature of my employment. My life has become so mobile that I feel like I am always on the run, always on the way to somewhere else, and it tires me at times. But when I complain about it, people always say that’s the price I pay for everything that I’m enjoying now.
Favorite line that comes to mind: They never said it would be easy; they only said it will be worth it.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Changi Airport
Blogging from the free internet service here at the Changi Airport in Singapore. Fyi friends I will be on my fourth module from 20-May till 4-June.
See you all when I get back! :)
P.S. I'm graduating from the program this June 2nd. Finally!!!
See you all when I get back! :)
P.S. I'm graduating from the program this June 2nd. Finally!!!
Sunday, March 5, 2006
Manila Manila... I'm HOME.
Manila, I keep coming back to Manila
Simply no place like Manila
Manila I'm coming home...
Take me back in your arms Manila
and promise me you'll never let go
Promise me you'll never let go...
This seems to be my banner song for 2006. Seriously, since I was transferred to Cebu last January 8, I have only spent one weekend there -- I distinctly remember, February 11 and 12. All the other weekends, I have spent somewhere else, most of them in -- yup, you guessed it -- Manila.
I don't know why until now, I still feel like a stranger to Cebu. Yes, I go to Maersk's Cebu office everyday and sleep in my rented place every night, but I still feel... displaced.
I came back to Manila from that heck of a vessel tour on a Sunday. Was not feeling well that Monday. Worked overtime on Tuesday and Wednesday. Came home early on Thursday to run some errands, but ended up with some personal issues that forced me to cry my eyes out for the rest of the night and neglect my planned errands.
Then Friday came. On a whim my dad told me to book a flight that night and come home. HOME. Lately that word has meant so much to me.
So this weekend I flew to Manila on personal expense to spend some time with my family. A number of titos and titas were coming over for the occassional family-salo-salo-slash-pseudo-reunion. This was the reason my dad gave me to convince my mom that the airfare was worth it. Eventually, what happened was a 50-50 deal. So I'm out 3,000 pesos now, thank you very much.
But if you ask me? It's damn worth it! I miss Manila... my car... my sister... my parents... my brother, heck, even his girlfriend! I miss my Tita Bing and Miggy and Luis and Mommy... I miss the Lolas... I miss my Ortigas friends and I miss Ortigas itself, the home of so many happy memories... I miss Megamall, I miss the chipipay Value Point at our village entrance... I miss home-cooked food... I miss my room, my sanctuary... I miss HOME.
I don't know if I've mentioned this before but once I was throwing some haphazard thoughts to my friend Josette over a cup of Rhumba Frap at Starbucks Ayala Center Cebu. I told her, I still cannot call Cebu "home." She, having stayed in Cebu for almost a year now and not an original Manilena (I believe she's from Bicol), candidly asked, "But home is where the heart is, diba?"
I nodded, paused for a moment, and replied with a straight face:
"Yeah, and my heart is in Manila."
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Thoughts Along Japanese Waters
At the prodding of my digicam sponsor, Lucy, here I am making a blog entry. I know it’s been long since I last posted anything here. So get ready. This might be long.
Oops, scratch that. This WILL be long. :)
I’ve said this many times before. Every time I start ‘re-blogging’ there always seems to be so much to say. So much going on in my mind. So just let me start out with the latest stuff and proceed from there...
Right now I am here on board the vessel Majestic Maersk, using my friend Mark’s laptop to compose this blog entry. It is 10:42pm Japan time and we are sailing towards Shanghai and expecting to arrive at that port on Sunday. So what has been up with me and why, of all places, am I here?
Let me first start out with saying that I currently work in Maersk’s office in Mandaue City, Cebu. Yes, now I live on my own in a rented apartment (more like a room, actually) in an area called Mabolo which is within 5 minutes of Ayala Center Cebu, SM City Cebu and the famous CnT Lechon. This is my fourth and last rotation. I will be going to my last module in Copenhagen in May and will (hopefully) graduate from the MISE program by then. And yes, to answer that question in your mind, I will be expatriated afterwards, which can happen anytime between mid-2006 or early 2007.
So back to the Cebu thing. I flew to Cebu on January 8th and moved in to my place around a week after that. It was Sinulog weekend then, which is, I think, also one of the reasons why my brother volunteered to fly in and help me move my stuff. Hehe. But anyway, since then there have been quite a few challenges with this really new chapter of my life.
There is the issue, of course, of being on my own for the first time. I thought I would enjoy it, the freedom, the independence. I thought I would enjoy being alone with no parents and no curfew – with a company car that’s constantly filled to the brim with the gas that can bring you anywhere you want to. Well, to a certain extent, this is true. It is enjoyable, but only until the time when the reality of being alone kicks in. I am not ashamed to say that a number of times I really cried inconsolably. I miss home, I miss my family, I miss Manila, I miss my friends – sometimes it really will drive you crazy thinking about all the many things that you are missing.
But everyday I do make the choice of bringing myself to the office and drowning myself in work. And trust me, there’s more than enough to drown myself into. Haha. Let’s just say that Cebu is quite short-handed at the moment and there’s a lot of work to go around… And yes at times I have broken down from the work, feeling completely burned out, but really I’m glad that I can still pull through it… At the end of the day, work is work, that’s that, no amount of complaining can really make it go away.
It has been a little over a month since I moved to Cebu. And trust me, what a rough month it has been. There has also been that issue of quitting and leaving Maersk, but that of course is nothing new. Hehe. Actually my plan is to just take one day at a time and making the most out of the experience by doing just that; I know soon this will be over and I will be moving on to the next chapter of my life and my career.
So, still in line with the MISE program, I take this vessel tour. Last Wednesday I flew into Tokyo with Mark. That, may I say, was one of the most unforgettable flights of my life. “Why?” you wonder. Well, by some stroke of luck, I was on business class! :) Until now I’m not really sure what happened, whether it was a wrong booking made by Jaq (she’s my officemate who arranges our plane tickets when we go to international destinations) or if I was just bumped up by Northwest Airlines (it was my first time to use that airline) but nevertheless, it was my first time on business class! The ride took only less than four hours, though. How I wish it was one of our long-haul flights to Copenhagen! Now would I love to spend those 13 grueling hours on business class… *sigh*
At around 1pm we arrive at Narita Airport and made our way to our hotel called the Shinagawa Prince. That night our MISE batch mates took us out for dinner at this really cool place in Shibuya, which by the way is what they call the Times Square of Japan (and rightfully so; the neon lights and giant lcd screens were amazing). The food was G-R-E-A-T. Mark of course was a big fan of Japanese food, and by the end of that night, I too became a convert.
The next day we feasted on yakitori (yum!) and tempura (double yum!) for breakfast. It seemed to me that we spent too short a time in Tokyo because by lunchtime we were already making our way to Yokohama to board the vessel. By 4pm we were sailing out of the port and we said goodbye to our brief but memorable Japan experience.
(Fast forward to 21 February) Now it’s been roughly a week and soon we will be disembarking in Hong Kong and bidding goodbye to this vessel. Bittersweet, yes, but boy am I excited to be back on land! Don’t get me wrong; we did have a great time here. We saw our theoretical knowledge in action and we got the chance to go to places on board the vessel which I never imagined I’d ever get to see (The cargo holds! The bridge! On top of a hatch cover! Inside a lifeboat! That place where Leo diCaprio shouted “I’m the king of the wooorld!") – yep, we were there! But after a week on board, sailing the high seas and calling some major Asian ports, I would really like to go back to the comforts of being on land. Not to mention leaving the ship’s constant vibration and motion as it moves with the waves.
And so let me leave you with these thoughts… surely by the time I post this blog entry I will already be on land and perhaps by then I can look back on this vessel tour with some more insight. Right now… I just really want to get back home. :)
Oops, scratch that. This WILL be long. :)
I’ve said this many times before. Every time I start ‘re-blogging’ there always seems to be so much to say. So much going on in my mind. So just let me start out with the latest stuff and proceed from there...
Right now I am here on board the vessel Majestic Maersk, using my friend Mark’s laptop to compose this blog entry. It is 10:42pm Japan time and we are sailing towards Shanghai and expecting to arrive at that port on Sunday. So what has been up with me and why, of all places, am I here?
Let me first start out with saying that I currently work in Maersk’s office in Mandaue City, Cebu. Yes, now I live on my own in a rented apartment (more like a room, actually) in an area called Mabolo which is within 5 minutes of Ayala Center Cebu, SM City Cebu and the famous CnT Lechon. This is my fourth and last rotation. I will be going to my last module in Copenhagen in May and will (hopefully) graduate from the MISE program by then. And yes, to answer that question in your mind, I will be expatriated afterwards, which can happen anytime between mid-2006 or early 2007.
So back to the Cebu thing. I flew to Cebu on January 8th and moved in to my place around a week after that. It was Sinulog weekend then, which is, I think, also one of the reasons why my brother volunteered to fly in and help me move my stuff. Hehe. But anyway, since then there have been quite a few challenges with this really new chapter of my life.
There is the issue, of course, of being on my own for the first time. I thought I would enjoy it, the freedom, the independence. I thought I would enjoy being alone with no parents and no curfew – with a company car that’s constantly filled to the brim with the gas that can bring you anywhere you want to. Well, to a certain extent, this is true. It is enjoyable, but only until the time when the reality of being alone kicks in. I am not ashamed to say that a number of times I really cried inconsolably. I miss home, I miss my family, I miss Manila, I miss my friends – sometimes it really will drive you crazy thinking about all the many things that you are missing.
But everyday I do make the choice of bringing myself to the office and drowning myself in work. And trust me, there’s more than enough to drown myself into. Haha. Let’s just say that Cebu is quite short-handed at the moment and there’s a lot of work to go around… And yes at times I have broken down from the work, feeling completely burned out, but really I’m glad that I can still pull through it… At the end of the day, work is work, that’s that, no amount of complaining can really make it go away.
It has been a little over a month since I moved to Cebu. And trust me, what a rough month it has been. There has also been that issue of quitting and leaving Maersk, but that of course is nothing new. Hehe. Actually my plan is to just take one day at a time and making the most out of the experience by doing just that; I know soon this will be over and I will be moving on to the next chapter of my life and my career.
So, still in line with the MISE program, I take this vessel tour. Last Wednesday I flew into Tokyo with Mark. That, may I say, was one of the most unforgettable flights of my life. “Why?” you wonder. Well, by some stroke of luck, I was on business class! :) Until now I’m not really sure what happened, whether it was a wrong booking made by Jaq (she’s my officemate who arranges our plane tickets when we go to international destinations) or if I was just bumped up by Northwest Airlines (it was my first time to use that airline) but nevertheless, it was my first time on business class! The ride took only less than four hours, though. How I wish it was one of our long-haul flights to Copenhagen! Now would I love to spend those 13 grueling hours on business class… *sigh*
At around 1pm we arrive at Narita Airport and made our way to our hotel called the Shinagawa Prince. That night our MISE batch mates took us out for dinner at this really cool place in Shibuya, which by the way is what they call the Times Square of Japan (and rightfully so; the neon lights and giant lcd screens were amazing). The food was G-R-E-A-T. Mark of course was a big fan of Japanese food, and by the end of that night, I too became a convert.
The next day we feasted on yakitori (yum!) and tempura (double yum!) for breakfast. It seemed to me that we spent too short a time in Tokyo because by lunchtime we were already making our way to Yokohama to board the vessel. By 4pm we were sailing out of the port and we said goodbye to our brief but memorable Japan experience.
(Fast forward to 21 February) Now it’s been roughly a week and soon we will be disembarking in Hong Kong and bidding goodbye to this vessel. Bittersweet, yes, but boy am I excited to be back on land! Don’t get me wrong; we did have a great time here. We saw our theoretical knowledge in action and we got the chance to go to places on board the vessel which I never imagined I’d ever get to see (The cargo holds! The bridge! On top of a hatch cover! Inside a lifeboat! That place where Leo diCaprio shouted “I’m the king of the wooorld!") – yep, we were there! But after a week on board, sailing the high seas and calling some major Asian ports, I would really like to go back to the comforts of being on land. Not to mention leaving the ship’s constant vibration and motion as it moves with the waves.
And so let me leave you with these thoughts… surely by the time I post this blog entry I will already be on land and perhaps by then I can look back on this vessel tour with some more insight. Right now… I just really want to get back home. :)
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