An Unsolicited Update

So here's the deal. Three weeks ago I had some pain on the lower left side of my torso. Went to the hospital, had it checked, got a (blissful) shot of morphine for the pain, and they ran some tests. Turns out it was caused by relatively small kidney stones, which in fact I unknowingly passed in the next few days. Two weeks later I came in for a follow-up with my urologist, he cleared me for kidney stones, and sent me on my way to get an ultrasound just to be extra sure that there's nothing left.

True enough, no more stones. But alas, something else was there.

After getting the results of the ultrasound, my urologist gave me a call and told me that while the stones were gone, they had found a mass in my lower abdomen. He booked me for an appointment with a general surgeon the next day. The general surgeon was a jolly old Chinese guy who spoke flawless English; I quite liked him. But then he told me that the mass was neither connected to my digestive nor excretory systems and therefore was not his area of expertise. He referred me to the gynecology department and the next available slot was for the next day. And so after another day of not knowing what the hell that mass was all about, I came in last Wednesday for a consult with a gynecologist.

To cut the story short and also so that I won't go into any details that might make you cough up your lunch, the mass is a cyst in my left ovary and it needs to be taken out. Perhaps the only detail I'll share is its size -- because it's so big, it's ridiculous -- it's 10x12x7cm, which is roughly the size of your two fists put together (!!!). The doctor compared it to a baby's head. And here I was thinking I wasn't ready to have a child yet!

Anyway I have come to terms with the fact that I'm going to have to go into surgery. In fact I've booked my time -- it's Thursday next week Aug 13th -- and my parents are coming over to Beijing to help me through this (they really are the best!). It's about a 2-3 day stay at the hospital and a 2-week recovery period. I'm pretty sure one of the questions you have is whether or not I can still have a child -- breathe a sigh of relief, friend, because I still can. And the other -- any chance that it's cancerous? While any abnormal growth within your body will always have a certain risk of being malignant, most dermoid cysts are benign and only 1-2% of them are cancerous. And while I've somehow gone against the grain other times in my life, I am hoping that in this instance I will be part of the majority. :)

I'm not really worried about the surgery; I'm pretty much gonna be out when they slice me up anyway. What unnerves me a little is thinking about recovery. Maaaaan I cannot imagine not being able to laugh! (It'll put a strain on the abdominal muscles which the wound pretty much goes through.) I can also not imagine not being able to lift things. I have never stayed in a hospital for more than 5 hours, tops. In that sense, I've always considered myself relatively healthy. Not to be defensive, but for the record the cyst was not caused by anything I did or did not do -- dermoid cysts are congenital defects, and those that are in the ovaries commonly manifest themselves during a woman's reproductive years. So ladies, not to scare you or anything, I'm just saying, go do your annual health checks and take them seriously. I had my last one 2 years ago, missed the one last year, and boom! See where it got me.

I'm trying to be really brave, but over the last few days there were times when I would wonder -- will I ever be the same again after my surgery on Thursday? I know I might be overreacting a bit; come on, I'm not the first person EVER to go through a surgery like this! And I am of course better off having it taken out, it's really not an option to leave it in there. It's just that I love roller coasters and I would really really REALLY hate it if I have to give that up on account of the surgery. Haha! I know you might be laughing, but I just can't imagine living the rest of my life not being able to ride roller coasters! But also, what if that cyst were the source of my talents, my skills? You know, like Samson and his hair! Now that would just be so freakin' sad. But okay, I'll stop thinking about that!

The other thing is, you know, September 29th. :) I have been counting down to that date since forever! Well okay, since March 2009, but still. I would hate to cancel my vacation, specially not now when I've finally succeeded in convincing Jaim to go with me to visit Lucy and Joel and also see New York! I really hope 6 weeks is enough time for me heal and to be able to take a long haul flight, lug around a 20kg suitcase (or two, hehe, of course I'm going shopping there!), and endure walking around for hours. I'm crossing my fingers... and my legs and my toes and my eyes too, if those will help!

Well this has been a pretty long note, so here's my last point: some people may have qualms about sharing their health problems with others, and if this has put you in an uncomfortable position or has scarred you for life, then I apologize. But I'd like you to know that I did this for two reasons: first, so that all of you, specially the women, can put a premium on your health, and as I mentioned, to not overlook your annual health checks. In fact, if I had gone to last year's check-up, then the cyst would not have been as big, and I would not require such a long recovery period. So think about it, okay? Second, one can never underestimate the power of prayer, so I humbly ask you guys to please keep me in yours for the next few weeks -- and thank you in advance.

I know I'm gonna be okay... well, I'm really hopeful, at least. Since I'm only human, I also get those dammit-I-wish-this-would-never-have-happened moments, and I guess I will continue to do so until I have fully recovered and am fully able to jump around... not like I jump around a lot now, but still, I'd like to have the option! :) Anyway, I will most likely post other updates throughout this whole experience -- not gross ones, don't worry; I'm just thinking it might help alleviate some of the boredom while recovering, don't you think? Now if only I can request for wifi in my hospital room...